What I’ve learned in my first 9 months as a coach

During a conversation with my brother-in-law in late June last year, just after he had found out that I was about to change careers and move into coaching, he asked me,  “So what are you going to do?” He then proceeded to reel off a list of things that I hadn’t even considered, such as delivering workshops, creating content, and even writing a book. I acknowledged politely, and then inwardly thought “I’m just going to coach.” How wrong I was! Here are some of the big lessons that I’ve learned on my journey so far.

Lesson 1 – The phone doesn’t ring like you thought it would

I naïvely thought that being able to tap into a fairly extensive corporate network would create a world of opportunities so that’s where I started. I resorted to LinkedIn in most parts as rather foolishly I hadn’t taken the majority of phone numbers from my work phone (Lesson 1.1 plan your exit better than I did!). Therefore I relied on email and LinkedIn and began making approaches. The responses generally fell into two buckets: curiosity with a polite decline, and no response at all. After a couple of months, I realised that this was proving harder than I expected which led to a fair degree of panic. How was I going to earn money? I’d spoken to other connections who had done the same thing, and it seemed as if they hit the ground running and referrals grew on trees, but not for me. While away with my family and late October, I decided that something had to change.

Lesson 2 – The power of networking

Prior to this point, I had been to several networking groups full of optimism and enthusiasm, which rapidly became fear, trepidation and my old friend – Impostor Syndrome. However, given that my initial tactic had been an abject failure, I knew I had to step into that uncomfortable space. I joined a couple of networks and adopted a different approach to that which I had started when reaching out to my corporate connections. It had become obvious that trying to sell to people wasn’t working, so my new mantra was ”Every conversation is a good conversation”, and I jumped in feet first. To my surprise and delight, this approach took the pressure off, allowing me to be more of my authentic self, and enjoy the experience of meeting so many new people. From that point onwards, life got a whole lot more pleasant, and the two biggest learnings I can share are being consistently visible and understanding the concept of “Know, Like, Trust.” In that sense, networking has been something of a salvation, and has equipped me well for where I am today in this point of my journey. 

Lesson 3 – Leverage that which is right in front of you

While this had been going on, a lot of my time had been devoted to getting my coaching qualification which required me to complete at least 40 hours of coaching, which is actually way more than it sounds. This is where the next lesson really surfaced, in that the majority of my initial 40 hours were spent coaching members of my wife’s team in the hair and beauty industry. This was an absolute blessing, in that I got to work with some fantastic people, learning lots along the way about an industry that wasn’t familiar to me, and understanding what type of coach I was becoming. I had the luxury of not having to do a day job like some of the other members of my cohort and therefore was able to move at pace through those initial stages. I will always be grateful for this initial opportunity and for the great experiences I had with this team. I was the first one of my cohort to qualify and that wouldn’t have been possible without the individuals I worked with in those initial few months. Our sessions allowed me to master new techniques and really understand the impact I could have as a coach, especially when the testimonials started to land. 

Lesson 4 – Give and thou shalt receive

As I stepped more purposefully into networking and my connections grew in number, it became obvious that I could benefit more and more people by connecting them. The people pleaser in me found this very rewarding so I took every opportunity to support a new or existing connection by referring their services, or by connecting them with someone that could help them. Going back to “Know Like Trust” this helped me build credibility (and still does), while also widening my web of connections. Then after some time, things start to change, in that levels of interest in my services begin to rise, other people refer me, and my reputation begins to grow. Supporting others comes naturally to me (I am very much a believer in servant leadership) and the benefits continue to emerge. 

Lesson 5 (The Big One) – Get comfortable feeling uncomfortable

This is certainly not a new concept for me, as I’ve been preaching this to people I have worked with for years, but when I compare the uncomfortable environment of my old corporate world, to my new life as a business owner starting from scratch, they are light years apart. Back in corporate life, I still had the comfy blanket of the company, or a job title to reassure me, and an infrastructure to support me. Now it’s me standing on my own two feet; planning, creating strategy, marketing, executing, so the uncomfortable feeling is dialled up to the extreme, and that’s where I can be at my best. This isn’t stress or exponential pressure, but stretch and challenge and a world of new experiences. To go back to the first paragraph, “What am I going to do?”. The list is endless from collaborations with other businesses, to networking group leading, to speaking at coaching summits, and holding workshops. It turns out that my brother-in-law was much closer to the mark than I could ever imagine. My intention for this article was to share a small snapshot of my journey, in the hope that anyone who reads this and identifies with any part of it, can take heart that the journey they are on is one that is full of excitement and fulfilment. Now it’s time for the next chapter.